Chris was one of my boys.  He was part of that core group of guys that every girl has in her life that mean the world to her.  They come along after fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins...but before serious boyfriends, husbands, and sons.  They set the bar and they set it high.  They are the ones you expect to be beside you always...no matter how many years pass by where you don't see each other. 

The last time I saw  him was about four years ago.  We ran into each other at Walnut Hill Pharmacy, and before that we probably hadn't seen each other since high school graduation.  There was no lack of recognition, no awkward small talk...he just gave me that Chris smile and nearly knocked me over with one of those huge Chris hugs, and it was like no time had passed at all.  With him, I always knew that it wouldn't matter whether three years or thirty years passed, we would always be cool.  I just knew that our friendship would always be as easy as it was in 8th grade when we both went to the Peabody Spring Dance with other people, but spent the whole night talking to each other instead of our dates. 

Since that last time I saw him, I've thought about him often...wondered what he was up to.  I would always tell myself that I'd try to hunt down his phone number and catch up with him next week.  When next week came I'd say I'd do it next week, and the week after, and the week after.  The idea that at some point there might not be a next week never crossed my mind.  We're not supposed to lose our friends, not yet...but life doesn't always happen the way it's supposed to. 

I'm completely heartbroken right now, but I know it was meant to break.  If it was whole there wouldn't be a piece that belongs to him, but I'm glad there is.  I'm lucky to have known him.  I'm lucky to have had the time with him that I did.  I will miss him so much I can't even put it into words, but I'll take some comfort in knowing that he's looking out for all of us now.

There are so many things I never got the chance to say, so I just wanted to put this out there in the universe in the hopes that it'll get to him somehow.  Chris, I can't see you or touch you or hear you...but you're still one of my boys, you always will be.