I've been thinking about what to write here since Sunday afternoon when I first realized that the news of her passing was legitimate.  I spent a few hours in denial, hoping that it would be one of those sick celebrity rumors that people seem to love spreading, but as the story began to hit all the major media outlets I realized that she was really gone.  What do you say about a person you've never even met, but who had a constant presence in your life?  How do you reconcile feelings of sadness and grief with the fact that really, she only existed in your world through television and movie screens?  But I can't NOT say anything...not this time. 

I remember seeing Brittany Murphy long before Clueless, appearing in an episode or two of one show or another here and there...but Clueless was when she bounded into my life and stuck like glue.  I'll always remember the moment when the camera panned up to reveal the frumpy, ditzy, pre-intervention Tai Frasier.  From her first moment on screen, before she ever even uttered a word, I knew she was something special.  It was all uphill from that moment on.  Alicia Silverstone may have been the headliner, but it was Brittany Murphy who stole the show by playing Tai with a lovable naivete.  A lesser actress would have gone over the top with the airhead angle, but Brittany Murphy played it perfectly. 

I'm absolutely infuriated by the number of insensitive writers that felt the need to discuss how tragic her death is and in the same breath tear her down.  Too many times I've run across and article that relegates her to the B-list and goes on and on about how she wasn't that famous or accomplished as an actress.  I wonder when people will understand that box office success isn't an indicator or accomplishment or skill.  This is a woman who has more than a couple of quotables forever embedded in the pop culture lexicon purely based on passion/believability/uncanny comedic timing.  This is a woman who uttered the most cold blooded diss ever captured on celluloid ("(you're just a virgin who can't drive") in such an adorably endearing way that it made you love her character all the more...and it could have easily been a shark jumping moment.  She was that good before she was even out of her teens, and she did nothing but improve over the years.  As for accomplishments, check the list of credits...it's no small thing. 

Hollywood is fickle.  Brittany Murphy was one of a number of exceptionally talented young starlets who don't fit the aesthetic mold that Hollywood loves so much (despite her obvious beauty), so she never got the credit she deserved.  It's a shame that she doesn't ever have a chance to get it now.  She gave 200% in every role, no matter how small the part, no matter how low the budget.  She shouldn't be gone so soon.  She should still have her whole life ahead of her...she had so much more to give and so much more to do.

The fact that I find her passing so heartbreaking speaks volumes about her talent.  It hit so close to home because watching her movies over the years...it feels like we've grown up together.  In some weird way we have, and it's hard to accept that she won't be making the rest of the journey with me.  If there's any solace, it's in the legacy she's left behind.  There's small comfort in the fact that I can pull out a DVD and see her at her best.  I can watch those moments in her films--like the moment in Clueless where Tai is singing along with the Mentos commercial and laughing, or when she's dancing through the park with Dakota Fanning in Uptown Girls--those moments where Brittany Murphy the woman seems to break through the character she's playing and leave a little nugget of herself behind. 

To all those insensitive imbeciles who are so quick to tear down her accomplishments or her character...STOP IT.  Just stop with the accusations of drug use and anorexia...stop, because none of it matters.  Celebrate her life, celebrate all that she left us with, give her that one thing in death that the Hollywood machine wasn't willing to give her in life: appreciation.  She deserves at least that much.  The world has lost more than a little light...in losing her, we've lost the cinematic sun.  I'll never forget the girl with the big, gorgeous brown eyes, quirky grin, and infectious laugh. I will truly miss her.  Kevin Smith said it best:  I hope she's rollin' with the homies someplace nice.

Goodbye, old friend.

Chris was one of my boys.  He was part of that core group of guys that every girl has in her life that mean the world to her.  They come along after fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins...but before serious boyfriends, husbands, and sons.  They set the bar and they set it high.  They are the ones you expect to be beside you always...no matter how many years pass by where you don't see each other. 

The last time I saw  him was about four years ago.  We ran into each other at Walnut Hill Pharmacy, and before that we probably hadn't seen each other since high school graduation.  There was no lack of recognition, no awkward small talk...he just gave me that Chris smile and nearly knocked me over with one of those huge Chris hugs, and it was like no time had passed at all.  With him, I always knew that it wouldn't matter whether three years or thirty years passed, we would always be cool.  I just knew that our friendship would always be as easy as it was in 8th grade when we both went to the Peabody Spring Dance with other people, but spent the whole night talking to each other instead of our dates. 

Since that last time I saw him, I've thought about him often...wondered what he was up to.  I would always tell myself that I'd try to hunt down his phone number and catch up with him next week.  When next week came I'd say I'd do it next week, and the week after, and the week after.  The idea that at some point there might not be a next week never crossed my mind.  We're not supposed to lose our friends, not yet...but life doesn't always happen the way it's supposed to. 

I'm completely heartbroken right now, but I know it was meant to break.  If it was whole there wouldn't be a piece that belongs to him, but I'm glad there is.  I'm lucky to have known him.  I'm lucky to have had the time with him that I did.  I will miss him so much I can't even put it into words, but I'll take some comfort in knowing that he's looking out for all of us now.

There are so many things I never got the chance to say, so I just wanted to put this out there in the universe in the hopes that it'll get to him somehow.  Chris, I can't see you or touch you or hear you...but you're still one of my boys, you always will be.  

If you're a Twitter addict like myself, you already know about Follow Friday.  Follow Friday is cool, but kind of boring.  It's a rare occasion when I actually find someone new and interesting to follow on Follow Friday.  I want to start something new.  I want to know embarrassing tidbits of information about my friends that I can file away for later use.  That's why I'm starting Say What Wednesday.  What do you do on Say What Wednesday?  You make a confession about yourself.  Embarrassing, funny, just plain weird...it doesn't matter.  It can be a picture, a statement, or both...just make sure you hash tag it as #saywhatwednesday.  Here's mine...

My Say What Wednesday Confession: I own this: http://twitpic.com/309dy and I like it. #saywhatwednesday

Follow me on Twitter! twitter.com/CMitchell317

What's the weirdest thing I know about nature?  Oddly enough, the weirdest (well, not necessarily weirdest but definitely the most disturbing) thing I know comes as an unfortunate by-product of being an Anthropology major and taking Primate Behavioral Ecology.  CHIMPS EAT MONKEYS...that's right, they're carnivorous.  Actually, they're omnivorous like us (we are all apes after all).  They specifically like to hunt and east red colobus monkeys.  They'll jump on that like a crack fiend on a loose rock.  Growing up, we go to zoos and watch television, we see chimps in captivity and it's all happy happy joy joy...then you become an Anthropology major and your blissful ignorance gets shot to hell!  You get shown a video footage from a study of chimps in the wild and your world gets turned upside down.  You think those driver's ed car crash videos are disturbing?  Sex ed birth videos made your stomach churn?  Oh no, you haven't seen anything yet.

Does anyone remember Jay "The Juiceman" Kordich?  You know...old dude, insane eyebrows, used to hock juicers before Jack LaLanne came along and stole his thunder.  What happened to that guy?  Did LaLanne take him out or something?  His eyebrows creeped me out, but I kind of miss his juice related enthusiasm.  Jack LaLanne never pushed parsley:

Hello Friendly People,

I just wanted to let you all know that I've started a new community called Blatant.Music.Snobbery.  It's for exactly what it sounds like...a place for me (and you, if you wish to join in) to rant about musicc.  If you too are a music snob, or even if you're not...stop on by and tell us what you're listening to.  Link below...

http://community.livejournal.com/music_snobbery/

That's right friends, this is a sad day.  My trusty old Kyocera digital camera died on me.  It was only 3.3 megapixels, but we had some good times and took a lot of good pictures.  Oh well, I guess it was time for an upgrade anyway.  Needless to say, I won't be taking many photographs until I get a new one.  I would love to get a digital SLR, but they're so expensive.  My skills aren't up to par for that kind of investment.  Maybe a manual SLR.  I've seen a few things I like in the Lomography shop as well.  In the meanwhile, I'll just have to make do with my Polaroid 440 land camera:

Finally!  It seems like I've been gone forever...but it has really only been two weeks.  I was down in Atlanta, GA training for my new job from March 10th through the 21st.  It was fun.  I like my boss and the other's in the company a lot.  I got to see a lot of my old haunts and swing by my alma matter.  Good times...but hotels still freak me out so it's nice to be back.  Over the weekend I just watched movies and browsed YouTube.  Here's what I've been watching:

This first one is Sara Ramirez singing a song called "Grateful" at the Good Medicine benefit.  There's not much I need to say about this one.  It's Sara Ramirez...I adore her and her voice is insane.  She's so talented it's almost not fair.

This next one features my second favorite singer, Shingai Shoniwa of the Noisettes.  I love the album version of IWE, but there's just something so gorgeous and raw about this version...it's incredible (and so is Shingai's voice).

Dear friends and wanderers,

I folded 'em.  If you're wondering what I'm talking about by now, I'm referring to my short career as a high school biology teacher.  After a long and tortuous six months, I decided to resign...and after what happened at that school today, it looks like I did it just in time.  There was a bomb threat and apparently a riot.  I got a first hand account from a couple of the kids who were there and it looks like it was a pretty bad situation all around.  It's possible that the kids are exaggerating, but based on the things I witnessed when I was there...I don't think so.  However, the school system seems to be trying to play it down to the media. 

Those kids are out of control and they behave that way because they know there won't be any real consequences.  Teachers can write referrals until their hands are numb and all the kids get is a few days of ISS (if anything at all, on several occasions I've gotten the referral back with a note to call the parent first...what do the administrators do then?).  What happened to the days of immediate and heavy consequences?  They're putting all their efforts into getting these kids to pass the SOLs, but how are they supposed to do that when they're allowed to run wild?  If there's ever going to be any hope of gaining accreditation, the disciplinary procedure is going to have to be revamped first.  Even the cream of the crop can't thrive in chaos. 

I can't say the experience was all bad.  A few (very few) of my students were a pleasure to work with and I feel so sorry for them because they have to deal with these types of situations.  I gave it a try--maybe in another place it would have been different.  I genuinely thought that teaching would be a career that I would enjoy.  I truly believed that I'd have students who were interested in learning.  Don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting some utopia...I went to that school and I know better, but I was expecting it to be a lot better than it was.  It's a different place from the one I left ten years ago...and it definitely hasn't changed for the better. 

That place--that place is crushing.  I wasn't happy there at all and I don't believe in doing things that don't make me happy.  Life is much too short for that.  I took a gamble--I know that.  I took a gamble that would have devastated my life had things not worked out.  I was confident that I had a pretty good chance of getting this new job, but I didn't know for sure that I had it...but I left the school anyway.  I had to.  I firmly believe that money isn't everything.  Staying there wasn't worth the money...my life, my health, my happiness...that's worth more than $37,000 a year.

I won't dwell on what could have happened...I'm going to focus on what did happen.  I got the job I wanted and I didn't even have to take a pay cut for it.  I'm off to Atlanta on Monday for two weeks of training...I'm excited to embark on my next adventure.  I'll keep you posted.


Later days,

Cherra

After tomorrow I will be free. Free from the insanity that is Petersburg High School. To say I'm excited would be an understatement. I would not be upset if January 2nd took it's sweet time getting here. No really, I wouldn't.

In case you didn't know, I love 80s hair metal. LOVE it. I can find an 80s hair metal song appropriate for any occasion.

Anyway, enjoy your holiday!

What inspires me to write?  Everything.  If I'm being brutally honest, I really have no choice but to write.  Words don't come easily to me when I'm expected to speak them out loud.  If you're having a conversation with me that consists of more than just one word answers, there's a 99.9% chance that you've known me for years.  Writing?  Writing is like breathing to me.  Words flow like water from my brain, down my arm, into the tips of my fingers, and finally transfer to the tip of my pen.  Inspiration is everywhere...it's just a matter of taking the time to put it down.

I'm loving this song (and video) right now.

1. Take your answer to each question and type it into Google Image Search
2. Post one of the images from the first page of results.

My new obsession...

What Hollywood accepts is what we accept when it comes to body image...that's the way it is, and it's the way it will continue to be.  So it's no surprise that there's so much hype surrounding (supposed) larger women on television these days (and I'm writing this with Sara Ramirez and America Ferrara in mind).  What I do find surprising is the fact that a lot of people seem to think this signals some great change in society.  Would they be so accepted if they didn't look the way they do?  I seriously doubt it. 

More than once I've come across statements about Sara and America only being accepted because they are women of color.  The perceived consensus seems to be that big is beautiful among Latinas and African American women.  Really?  I beg to differ, and so would...I don't know, Nell Carter?  Countess Vaughan (pre weight loss)?  Margaret Cho?  Let's face the facts here; Hollywood is as shallow as it has ever been...and putting Jennifer Hudson or Queen Latifah on a magazine cover doesn't change that.

Other than being "full figured", these women have a couple of other things in common...each is undeniably beautiful, and exceptionally talented (Hudson, Ramirez, and Latifah could blow our collective eardrums out).  Sara Ramirez is gorgeous.  Period.  If she didn't have that hair, those eyes, that nearly flawless skin...would she have still gotten a feature on AskMen.com?  Nope.  The same goes for America Ferrara--Ugly Betty isn't so ugly off set...in fact, she far from it.  Let's be really honest with ourselves, neither Ramirez nor Ferrara--nor Hudson for that matter--are actually fat.  I think we have become so used to seeing what Hollywood has forced down our throats for so long that we no longer recognize a healthy and (for lack of a better word) normal body type.  

The fact that these women are being put in the spotlight as if their size is the only thing worth talking about is several levels of sad.  That bothers me more than the stick-figure Barbie image Hollywood so lovingly embraces.  Can someone please talk about how intelligent and phenomenally talented Sara Ramirez is?  This is a woman with an actual functioning brain in her head.  Who cares about her dress size...what's her favorite book?